I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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