And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
