i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
