OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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