You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
