we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
