Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
