My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize