Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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