I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Watching her eat just hurts me
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Send help, water and tortillas.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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