oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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