I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
