I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
