Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize