Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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