party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
