I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
