cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
