He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
