Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
