no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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