did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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