and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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