we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
What changed your mind?
Being sober
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
