No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize