Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
