The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
porn star boner night. come get it.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
