I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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