Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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