Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
