garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
