So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
