I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
