just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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