Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
