Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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