If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
