I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
