I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
