butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
