the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
