If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
