Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
