Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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