he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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