I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
