I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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