She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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