Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
