Fuck appropriateness.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
