Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
