the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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