i just had sex bonerless
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
now i know why i became what i already was.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
