that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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