you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
