I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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