okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
