he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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