i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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