you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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