do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
