His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
