he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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