I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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