who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
