i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
