Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
