We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Randomize
