I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
