6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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