You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Ambien. No doubt about it.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
My vagina just recognized that song.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Randomize
