I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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