I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
