found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
