i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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