oh god the rape fog is back!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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