So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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