And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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