Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize