just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
