I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
