why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
